Film Review: Unsticking the Stuck Couple, inspired by Michael Shanks horror film ‘Together’

Last summer I noticed the posters on London buses for a film called ‘Together’. The tag line said ‘Best horror movie of the year’. I love an outlandish supernatural horror and this one is filled with couple dynamics. My ‘couple therapist antenna’ was instantly sparked so I headed to the cinema.

The film starts with a beastly glimpse of the horror to come, after this gruesome scene we are swiftly taken to a room full of millennials at a NYC leaving party for the couple in focus, Tim and Millie, played by a real life couple, Dave Franco and Alison Brie. 

Tim and Millie are in their early 30’s, unmarried, no children and after several years of co-habiting they have a creeping sense of ennui. They ask themselves ‘are we together because we really want to be or out of habit because we’re used to each other?’

As a grand gesture to shake things up, they decide to move to the countryside, where the spooky horror begins.

Fiction aside,  ‘the stuck couple’ is a common dilemma I have encountered in my work as a couple therapist. Of course I’m not referring to the supernatural phenomenon that happens to the couple throughout the movie where they literally become physically stuck to each other (I’d retire if I ever came across this!), I’m referring to a psychological stuckness usually accompanied by a feeling of stagnation. 

Perhaps the initial momentum of finding love plateaus, or a couple might have drifted into a relationship with no intentionality. The years go by and before long they find themselves aimlessly coasting through life with no clear direction, often feeling the connection has been lost. I have worked with several stuck couples who have described themselves ‘like ships passing through the night’. The stuck couple usually fall into auto pilot mode where life becomes consumed by routines and domesticities. 

Back to the leaving party where a few scenes caught my attention. Millie’s brother is having a chat with Tim, a struggling musician, convincing him to get back into doing gigs with the band, presumably because he’s lost his creative mojo as a result of being in a stuck relationship. Millie’s brother says, ‘when you started going out with my sister I thought you would make her cool but she’s made you uncool’. Later he dramatically says ‘do you want to see someone else’s life flash before your eyes when you’re dying’ 

These scences speak to the reality that we inevitably lose touch with parts of ourselves as a result of our relationship. There is a natural ‘blending’ of each others selves, especially during the honeymoon stage where there's a strong gravitational pull to bridge the gap between self and other. Long-term relationships are a constant balance between separateness and closeness, retaining our autonomy whilst also being connected to our partner. Sometimes one feels they have given up too much of themselves for the sake of the relationship, which can lead to feeling lost, stuck and resentful.

At one point during the party, Millie notices their outfits are matching in colours. She thinks it’s cute but when she’s not looking Tim quickly changes his top so they are no longer matching. He’s pulling away, trying to regain his autonomy because he’s clearly feeling ‘swallowed up’ by the relationship. This ‘swallowing up’ is illustrated when Millie spontaneously proposes to Tim in front of all their friends. On bended knee, Millie makes a strange clam like gesture with her hands that looks like a trap. This reminds me of the carnivorous fly eating plant. He doesn’t reciprocate and needlessly to say it’s an awkward moment.

After their big move to the countryside, ironically it is Tim who’s exposed to the supernatural force that makes him uncontrollably drawn to Millie. He cannot bear to be separated from her and during a sex scene they become stuck to each other and have to painfully unstick themselves. They’re beginning to realise somethings not right.

Initially, they fight the feeling of merging, saying ‘if we don’t split now it’ll only be worse later’. The 'sunk cost fallacy' comes to mind, where the more time invested in something, like a relationship, the harder it is to separate. But eventually, (spoiler alert) they give into the powerful supernatural force that is merging them together and they become fused into one person. The sound track to this scene is none other than ‘2 Become 1’ by the Spice Girls.

This message is confusing, is it saying ‘it’s worse if you fight it, so it’s better to give in and become fused forever’? Whilst I don’t agree that the only way to be happy in a relationship is to give up one’s identity, I think couples do need to pick and choose their battles and, yes I’m bringing in the C word … compromise. It sounds trite but sometimes I ask ‘stand off’ couples ‘would you rather be right or happy’. If you’re sitting there saying both, then we might need to think about the difficulties with giving something up in order to move forwards … and this may be the key to unsticking the stuck couple.