Film Review: Pillion

I’ve always been intrigued by BDSM. I remember going to Bagleys Studios in the late 90’s for a night called Club Submission, run by the legendary DJ Rubber Ron. Call it voyeurism or natural curiosity, I was fascinated by the various sub/dom dynamics witnessed in this clubbing subculture. 

So it’s refreshing to see a mainstream film with well known actors embracing their inner sub/doms to play the unlikely pairing of ‘Colin and Ray’.

As a psychosexual therapist, I found Pilllion worth writing about not for the sex but for its broader portrayal of BDSM. This film is NOT about kinky bedroom activities or dungeons (a common trope), it’s actually about self exploration and an important rights of passage: surviving the first heartbreak. 

I will break this down into developmental stages:

Infancy/Early Childhood 

Colin, played by Harry Melling, has an enmeshed relationship with his parents, one might say he has not flown the nest. We can hypothesise that a part of Colin is in arrested development. He is in ‘infancy’ when he first meets the strikingly handsome Ray, played by the strikingly handsome (yes, it's worth repeating!) Alexander Skarsgard.

Colin is unsure what he wants out of a relationship, he’s just happy that someone will have him. He puts himself in a potentially dangerous situation by meeting Ray in a dark alleyway. The sub/dom relationship continues with absolutely no consent or boundaries conversation. Colin enjoys being told what to do (as a compliant child might) especially as Ray has chosen him for his ‘aptitude for devotion’. 

Boyhood

Colin gradually becomes aware that his needs are not being met. This is highlighted during group gatherings within the BDSM biker community where he witnesses other sub/dom relationships who have a more flexible, loving framework that include kissing, something Ray never does. He forms peer relationships and even shaves his hair off, much to his mother’s chagrin. They go on group motorcycle rides together and to the forest for some role play activities.

Adolescence

It is only after his mother dies that Colin is able to step into his own agency and vocalise his needs. He attends his mother’s funeral, alone. He goes back to Rays house and sets about his usual domestic duties, cooks dinner. In an impulsive cry for help, Colin picks up a hot pan scalding his hand. This forces Ray to care for Colin and for a brief moment they are equals, eating pizza like an ordinary couple. Colin takes this opportunity to ask for a ‘day off’ but Ray is inflexible and reverts back to their sub/dom roles. Not to say that people who are into BDSM have intimacy issue, on the contrary, BDSM relationships are by their very nature imbued with feelings of trust and vulnerability. But it’s Ray’s inflexibility that suggest he’s using the BDSM roles to defend against any form of vulnerability.

The ultimate act of teenage rebellion is symbolised when Colin defiantly takes Ray’s beloved motorbike on a joy ride. The next morning Ray acquiesces to Colin’s request for a day off. I won’t spoil the ending but let’s just say Ray has some serious intimacy issues and simply vanishes. He remains an enigma, perhaps sending the message that if one refuses to show their vulnerabilities, they remain unseen and unknown by others.

Adulthood 

At the end of the film, we see Colin writing his dating profile where he is clearly stating his dealbreakers: ‘I won’t cut my hair for anyone and I require a day off’.

This film beautifully and bravely illustrates how the experience of love, loss and heartbreak brings people closer to understanding and vocalising their needs and boundaries. Colin went from riding pillion to being in the driving seat … before we know it, he’ll be topping from the bottom!

Beyond 

Interestingly, Harry Melling is best known for playing Dudley Dursley in the Harry Potter films, and so it seems his career has had it’s own journey into adulthood.